Why?.... because....

I feel so... unworthy. Here I am, being blessed in so many ways, shapes, and forms, more than I could possibly count, and I allow myself to ask God why, why must you take this away? When it seems I've worked so hard to hold onto it, when it seems right to hold onto it, when it seems wrong to give it up... it's not even up to me in the end. Some of you know what I'm talking about and some of you don't, and even out of those who do, only a couple of you really know. This is just so hard to simply let go of, and at the same time, there's such a relief to release it to God, knowing that He's already got it worked out. I was reading Sonia's entry earlier, and she had the perfect quote (Sorry, Saenz, but I'm going to borrow it here)-- "God says to me, to His children, as He once said to abraham, "I only wanted to remove [him] from the temple of your heart that I might reign unchallenged there."" He's talking about Abraham giving up his son, but it fits so perfectly for me, too. God, reign unchallenged in my heart. Take away everything and anything that gets in the way.